gCaptain’s Top 5 Most Freakish-Looking Megayachts

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October 29, 2011

With the year’s largest boatshow underway the docks of Fort Lauderdale are packed with elegant yachts of all sizes. But docked among the sleek lines of the world’s most attractive boats are a few ghastly designs which look like a halloween nightmare. And the worst looking boats will be too ashamed to even show up. Here are gCaptain’s top five favorite zombie boats:

The Voronoi

voronoi mega-yacht designIf you want to guarantee your boat will be the ugliest in the world then let a Russian mathematician be your inspiration. The Voronoi mega-yacht is named after the pattern of the irregular honeycomb lattice structure that encases it’s upper levels. while looking like a bee hive, the voronoi pattern is actually a random geometric spacing created by Russian mathematician Georgy Voronoi. Hot tubs and golfing green occupy the upper deck and within the lattice on the bridge deck lies an indoor garden and luxurious pool area. And if you find yourself seasick from voronoi overload the vessel has a sleek emergency vessel for a “stylish” evacuation.

Tofi Trimaran

tofi-trimaran mega-yachtIt’s difficult to make a trimaran look good but even three hulls should not look this ugly. Designed by the same architect as the Voronoi, this Kim Hyun-Seok creation was designed to look “natural, like a tropical fish” but, instead, looks like a plastic bath toy. But, not to worry, the boat is equipped with a “safety buoy system” for those looking to escape this travesty of design.

The Yacht A

775-yacht-aMorro Bay, California, the hometown of gCaptain founder John Konrad, is not known as destination of mega-yachts, so when residents found out that the world’s most expensive yacht was visiting town they lined the docks for a peek. The Russian billionaire who commissioned her certainly created a true work of art, there’s no doubt about that.  The thing is, you just have to wonder what you would wear on board.  Crazy, funky-ass, science fiction costumes are the only thing that comes to our mind.  Sorry, but we’re going to have to give the Yacht A a big thumbs down.

Painted Lady

ugly-paint-jobThe sharp cumbersome lines of this boat may have won beauty contests in the late 1980’s but, like rock starts of yesterday, her looks have faded. An outdated figure, however, is not enough to make a boat pure ugly. No, for that honor you’ll need to add some paint. We are not sure which drugs the owner of this yacht was taking when he commissioned this hull “art” but he had to have been smoking something, or listening to Duran Duran.  Or both.

Signature Series

ugly-boats - Foster Signature SeriesJohn Hancock made history with his bold and audacious signature on the Declaration of Independence. The signature series Foster yacht shares his audacious manner, but lacks the equivalent elegance.    It’s like a giant Volkswagen Beetle, comfortably roaming the ocean.

Runner Up – Dark Knight

darth-vaders-boat-mega-yacht-dark-knightNot ugly in the classical sense of the word, the Dark Knight might win a Halloween costume contest for its ability to scare young children. If Batman was looking for a new yacht this might be it, but for the rest of us who aren’t superheroes and don’t have a huge cave to park their yacht in, it’s just a little bit strange looking.  I mean, does it even have a bar???

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