gCaptain - Maritime & Offshore » ugly ships

gCaptain’s Top 5 Most Freakish-Looking Megayachts

gCaptain Staff — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 19:19:38 +0000

With the year’s largest boatshow underway the docks of Fort Lauderdale are packed with elegant yachts of all sizes. But docked among the sleek lines of the world’s most attractive boats are a few ghastly designs which look like a halloween nightmare. And the worst looking boats will be too ashamed to even show up. Here are gCaptain’s top five favorite zombie boats:

The Voronoi

If you want to guarantee your boat will be the ugliest in the world then let a Russian mathematician be your inspiration. The Voronoi mega-yacht is named after the pattern of the irregular honeycomb lattice structure that encases it’s upper levels. while looking like a bee hive, the voronoi pattern is actually a random geometric spacing created by Russian mathematician Georgy Voronoi. Hot tubs and golfing green occupy the upper deck and within the lattice on the bridge deck lies an indoor garden and luxurious pool area. And if you find yourself seasick from voronoi overload the vessel has a sleek emergency vessel for a “stylish” evacuation.

Tofi Trimaran

It’s difficult to make a trimaran look good but even three hulls should not look this ugly. Designed by the same architect as the Voronoi, this Kim Hyun-Seok creation was designed to look “natural, like a tropical fish” but, instead, looks like a plastic bath toy. But, not to worry, the boat is equipped with a “safety buoy system” for those looking to escape this travesty of design.

The Yacht A

Morro Bay California, the hometown of gCaptain, is not known as destination of mega-yachts so when residents found out that the world’s most expensive yacht was visiting town they lined the docks for a peek. The Russian billionaire who commissioned her certainly created a true work of art, there’s no doubt about that. The thing is, you just have to wonder what you would wear on board. Crazy, funky-ass, science fiction costumes are the only thing that comes to our mind. Sorry, but we’re going to have to give the Yacht A a big thumbs down.

Painted Lady

The sharp cumbersome lines of this boat may have won beauty contests in the late 1980′s but, like rock starts of yesterday, her looks have faded. An outdated figure, however, is not enough to make a boat pure ugly. No, for that honor you’ll need to add some paint. We are not sure which drugs the owner of this yacht was taking when he commissioned this hull “art” but he had to have been smoking something, or listening to Duran Duran. Or both.

Signature Series

John Hancock made history with his bold and audacious signature on the Declaration of Independence. The signature series Foster yacht shares his audacious manner, but lacks the equivalent elegance. It’s like a giant Volkswagen Beetle, comfortably roaming the ocean.

Runner Up – Dark Knight

Not ugly in the classical sense of the word, the Dark Knight might win a Halloween costume contest for its ability to scare young children. If Batman was looking for a new yacht this might be it, but for the rest of us who aren’t superheroes and don’t have a huge cave to park their yacht in, it’s just a little bit strange looking. I mean, does it even have a bar???

Ugly Ships – A New Blog Featuring Rust Buckets And “Modern” Paint Jobs

John Konrad — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:01:37 +0000

The above photo of the Norwegian Gem was from our failed attempt at an Ugly Ship category on gCaptain. The idea was good but our regular readers didn’t care to see these eyesores of modern construction litter this blog’s homepage. What the idea needed was a separate website! Lucky for us someone else, ShipSpotting photographer Sea-Bart, has run with the idea in launching UglyShips.com.

Here are a few gems from the collection:

WERDER BREMEN

Let’s start to say that the actual designs of the ships aren’t really head turners but as there are hundreds of these around it’s not really special anymore. No, it’s just about the paintjobs, they are hidious! Obviously the owners are big footballfans but why on earth would you paint your ships in the FC’s colors?? Especially the Borussia Dortmund must be a hell of a job to paint!

Superstar

It’s a brand new vessel, build by the well-known and respected Fincantieri Yard and trading between Helsinki and Tallin. Apparently the vessel is painted this green color to emphasize the “Enviromental friendly aspects of the ship’s design” (quote from Tallink Promotion material). I would really like to know how the people on both sides of the Gulf of Finland have nicknamed this vessel.

It might be environmental friendly but it’s not so friendly to humans. I think a lot of people will be seasick, even before boarding the vessel. Migraine inducing is also something that pops up in my head.

CSO Apache

It looks like a giant (& failed) rollercoaster has crashed on this ship and pushed the bridge to one side. But nothing is less true or exyting. Its actually designed like this. It might be usefull, workable, etc, etc but pretty it aint!

We hope the site continues to find the most hideous floating objects because we are strangely hooked on these Ugly Ship photos.

Photos By:

Now That Is An Ugly Ship

gCaptain Staff — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 16:46:52 +0000

CDR Salamander features China’s largest FPSO on Ugly Ship Thursday. He writes;

A ship only a Captain could love. I don’t think anyone will be making those cool mahogany models of it anytime soon, but I ask you to BEHOLD and up close and personal shot of the 300,000 DWT $230 million Hai Yang Shi You 117, China’s biggest floating production, storage and offloading vessel.

Our Ugly Ship pick is the Norwegian Gem, as photographed by the Lisbon Cruise Bog:

The Fairmont Summit is not much prettier but it is a working ship.

Can you believe an FPSO can actually be beautiful or that people actually pay to board the Norwegian Gem? Shocking, we know.