gCaptain - Maritime & Offshore » funny

Incident Video of The Week – Pizza Delivery

Mike Schuler — Fri, 18 May 2012 17:12:25 +0000

Pizza's here!

I know this is technically the second Incident Video of The Week but I felt like this is a good one for a Friday afternoon and rules are made to be broken anyway.

The video shows the Eihatsu Maru, a Japanese trawler stranded on Clifton beach in Cape Town, South Africa . It starts out as a satire of sorts but about a minute and a half in its apparent that this actually happened, and it is no joke.

What I do know is that if I were to run my ship up on a beach, a good pizza as I await to be refloated would make my day just that much better. Just watch.

Click here to view the embedded video.

A Failure To Communicate – The Best YouTube Commercial Ever Made

John Konrad — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 20:01:41 +0000

It’s that time of the year, time to play - once more – gCaptain’s all time favorite TV commercial… the German Coast Guard.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Luxury Boat Launches, Sinks Immediately [VIDEO]

Mike Schuler — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:57:33 +0000

This is classic!

Details of what actually went down in this incident are bit fuzzy being that most every report is in Chinese, but from what we gather, a highly anticipated luxury leisure boat being built by the city of Lanzou located in the Gansu Province of China nearly sank immediately after the vessel was launched on September 29th. The vessel, the SS Jiugang, reportedly cost over 17 million RMB (over $2.5m USD) and its launch failure was salt in the wounds for the already expensive and highly questioned project.

Thankfully, the vessel was not a total loss. The SS Jiugang was salvaged and is currently undergoing repairs for a second launching to be held soon.

Check out the video below:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrr! Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Mike Schuler — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 17:14:05 +0000

Piracy is no laughing matter, especially these days, but let’s face it, talking like a pirate is.

That’s why every year September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. The holiday was originally started in 1995 by John Baur (Ol’ Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap’n Slappy), of Portland, Oregon. From what started as an inside joke between two friends, the made up holiday gained exposure through various media outlets in 2002.

For those of you that would like to participate, we have provided you with these links to help you talk like a pirate and you can leave some of your favorite pirate quotes in the comments.

This is a pretty funny Pirate Translator, and you can even put in the gCaptain URL if you wish to read gCaptain in pirate language.

Facebook has a “pirate” language setting that is pretty funny (the link is on the bottom of your facebook page).

To get the hard facts on piracy, read our posts on real pirates HERE.

A Soviet “smart” barge… [VIDEO]

Mike Schuler — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 19:10:02 +0000

I wonder if using their backhoe as a giant paddle was part of their plan all along…

Or maybe the backhoe and the barge were in cahoots the whole time and decided to make a run for it.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Via gCaptain Forum

You know you’re in a maritime town when…

Rob Almeida — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 00:47:16 +0000

Saw these socks at Grauls supermarket in Annapolis, Maryland the other day. Awesome.

I’m on a Boat! – Merchant Marine version

gCaptain Staff — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 14:56:31 +0000

Here’s what happens when the crew of an LNG ship gets a bit stir crazy after being out at sea for months at a time. If you’re at work, you’ll want to close the door to your office, or put headphones on…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Gotta love those yachties [Picture]

Mike Schuler — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 22:35:21 +0000

This interesting pic was brought to our attention by albertpachino in the gCaptain forum with the title “Gotta Love Those Yachties – A Pic Says 1,000 words!”. It sure does…

Funny Sh*t My Captain Says

John Konrad — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:46:25 +0000

A friend who knew my father recently sent me a book titled Sh*t My Dad Says (HarperCollins 2010). Well not only was it really funny but, apparently, I am not the only one with a blue collar Dad from a big city as the book is currently number 1 on the NYTimes bestseller list.

This got me thinking about two of the most popular threads ever posted to the gCaptain forum:
Best Captain Quotes
Best Bosun Quotes

So as a tip of the hat to justin Halpern we are changing the name of the threads and adding a new one for the guys working on oil rigs offshore: Funny Sh*t my Toolpusher Says

Do you have a funny quote heard aboard ship that wasn’t said by either the Capt. Bos’ or Pusher? Feel free to post it as a comment below…. who knows, maybe gCaptain will get a book deal out of this and have to pay each of you royalties (keep dreaming) !?

Incident Photo of The Week – George H.W. Bush Runs Boat Aground

Mike Schuler — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 17:49:35 +0000

According to reports, Former President George H.W. Bush ran his 38-foot boat aground on a beach in Maine while trying to maneuver through thick fog. The Associated Press tells us:

Fidelity IV became a curiosity for tourists as it sat stranded on Gooch’s Beach at low tide on Monday. Hours later, his staff moved the boat to its dock in Kennebunkport.

Bush spokesman Jim Appleby says the former president and some family members were aboard when the boat ran aground between 3 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. No one was hurt.

Appleby says Bush was close to shore in low visibility when a wave pushed his boat onto the beach.

This isn’t the first incident involving George H.W., a boat, and running into something. The video below is of a 2009 incident where George Sr. crashes his boat into a dock at Perkins Cove.

Above Image via Failure Magazine