The age old Engine room vs. Bridge is better argument.

[smetshouse]

A Captain and Chief Engineer were having the age old argument about who had the tougher job. Each believed they could perform the others duties without a problem. To prove this to each other they decided to swap positions while leaving port the next morning. The next morning the Captain took over the watch from the second engineer after all the machinery had been brought up.
The Chief took over the watch on the bridge from the mate once clear of the dock. It wasn't long before the Captain found things to be going wrong; all the machinery temperatures were rising to dangerous levels.
The Captain quickly called the bridge where the Chief answered.
Captain : Chief, you'd better get down here quickly. I'm about to lose all of the machinery!
Chief : Relax Captain, we just ran aground!

[Robert]

Love it!!!!

[smetshouse]

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker

[smetshouse]

WHY I WANT TO BE A SHIP CAPTAIN*

"I want to be a Ship Captain when I grow up because it’s a fun job and easy to do. Captains don't need much school education; they just have to learn numbers so they can read instruments. I guess they should be able to read maps so they won't get lost.

Captains should be brave so they won't be scared if its foggy and they can't see; or if the propeller falls off they should stay calm so they know what to do. Captains have to have eyes to see through the clouds and they can't be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are closer to them than we are.

The salary that Captains make is another thing I like. They make more money than they can spend. This is because most people think captaining ships is dangerous, except captains, because they know how easy it is. There isn't much I don't like, except girls like captains and all the girls want to marry a captain so they always have to chase them away so they won't bother them.

I hope I don't get sea sick because I get car sick and if I get sea sick I could not be a Captain and then I would have to go out and work."

Written by a 10 year old schoolboy
Acknowledgements to the Journal of the AMOU, the IFSMA Newsletter and Bow Wave, Vol. 6, Jan '95, Issue

NOTE: these were taken from Martins Marine Engineering Page aka dieselduck.com

[CMA_Decky]

The salary that Captains make is another thing I like. They make more money than they can spend. This is because most people think captaining ships is dangerous, except captains, because they know how easy it is. There isn't much I don't like, except girls like captains and all the girls want to marry a captain so they always have to chase them away so they won't bother them.

Now I know what I want to be if I ever grow up.

[Old Bakelite]

...except girls like captains and all the girls want to marry a captain so they always have to chase them away so they won't bother them.

Even if he is an ugly old fat bastard who looks like an Old Salt.?

Oh, if only I could go back in time and figure out where I went wrong...

[smetshouse]

No kidding, me too.....