Best Captain vs. Chief Engineer Arguments

[cmjeff]

To follow in the footsteps of my favorite gCaptain thread, Best Captain's Quotes, what are the best Captain vs. Chief Engineer arguments/discussions you have heard?

Mine?

----
Captain: When are we getting our firepumps back on?

C/E: I've got two third's on it right now.

Captain: Well... that's better than one half.
----

Ok, not as good as Splash's quote but... what are yours?

[seadawg]

en route to Chile..had a C/E switch generators while we were approaching and on top of Cristobal entrance with a 300' barge up close..the old harbor pilot nearly had a heart attack..when the "ole man" got the tow settled on a mooring he called the C/E to the wheelhouse..seems that the C/E was "just performing his routine and it was time to switch over"..you would not want to have been a fly on that bulkhead..as mate I went below to hide..they relieved the C/E before we made the transit.

[Steamer]

"...they relieved the C/E before we made the transit."

That story tells more than you probably meant to.

There was no planning or procedure in place for operating in confined or restricted waters.

It was not standard procedure to operate both generators in confined or restricted waters.

Who would have walked if the only generator running tripped offline and put tug and barge on the rocks?

No one notified the chief that they were maneuvering in confined waters.

There were no pre arrival checks performed.

This sounds like a textbook case of poor planning, poor management, and a total lack of communication at all levels. The chief should have had company on the flight home.

Just to keep this on topic; The bubbly cadet approached the captain, chief mate, and chief engineer in the officer's mess. Looking at the mate he said, chief, what do you want me to do next? The captain looked quietly toward a corner of the overhead. The mate ducked his head in silence waiting for the inevitable. After allowing a moment's silence to prime the cadet for what was probably the most important lesson of his day, the chief responded in an even but very firm tone "There's only ONE chief on this ship lad, and it's not one of these deckies!"

[seadawg]

That story tells more than you probably meant to.

Steamer,

this incident dates to a time prior to IMO, ISM, SMS, STCW..back to a time on tugs when written procedures, checklists and the like didn't exist..back to a time when most of what you knew didn't come from a manual or what you did wasn't checked off on a list..hasn't been all that long ago by the way!!

**one C/E that I really enjoyed working with never liked to be called "chief"..his response was always "do you see any feathers on this bald head"??

[Steamer]

Steamer,

this incident dates to a time prior to IMO, ISM, SMS, STCW..back to a time on tugs when written procedures, checklists and the like didn't exist..

Ah yes, and that is the reason the alphabet was invented ... that and the office weanies needed more reasons to justify their existence.

[bluejay]

As a engineer cadet in 1976 on the 1930's era steamship Texas Clipper, we were struggling to maintain proper boiler firing and water levels while maneuvering into port with no tug assist. The steam plant was almost totally manually operated and required constant adjustments especially when we were getting bells like full ahead, full astern, stop, then back to full ahead, then stop. We were pulling and relighting new burners like crazy.

Under this situation, and maybe exacerbated by mostly cadets running the show, we lifted some safety valves and had some dark black smoke out of the stack.

The Captain Jacl Lane called down and complained about the smoking, to which I heard the Chief Owen Arkison reply:

"WELL, YOU WOULD SMOKE TOO, IF YOU HAD A HOT BURNER SHOVED UP YOUR ASS!!"

http://forums.iboats.com/showthread.php?t=298746

[albertpachino]

I've got 2, both from guys from Mass.

C/E: Why wasn't I informed that the ETA changed!?
Capt: Because engineers are like mushrooms, feed 'em shit and keep them in the dark.

_____
C/E: Why did you push the engine override button?
C/M: We needed to maneuver and you guys didn't answer the phone.
C/E Do you think we might have been busy?
C/M uhhh
C/E: Give a mate a ball and lock him in a cofferdam, 3hours later you come back and do you know what you find? The ball is either lost or broken, don't touch the f'n buttons.

[Symonds1]

well..there is a huge contradiction pertaining to the descriptions of chief and captain but there is a an individuality sing and same duties ,and it should be but authorities may vary cz it would have changed due to time prior u all don't forget the abilities of both..

[capitan1962]

A Capt. and Chief Engineer were arguing as to who had the most important job onboard. After a few minutes of growling they decided to switch jobs to show that they could do the other's just as well. After about an hour the Captain came to the wheelhouse and told the Engineer,

"Chief I can't get it to go."

The engineer replied, "Me neither, we're aground."

[stevefoster]

well..there is a huge contradiction pertaining to the descriptions of chief and captain but there is a an individuality sing and same duties ,and it should be but authorities may vary cz it would have changed due to time prior u all don't forget the abilities of both..

What?????????????

[seadog!]

Chief talking to captain: This is my f*&%ing boat, you're just the chauffeur.

[Tugs]

I have sailed as Chief Engineer on large ATB's for quite a long time. Once I had a real blow hard for Shipper and he was shooting off his mouth in the galley about how Engineers are worthless and such. Well I had had enough and looked him right in the eye and told him the his job was to keep us pointed in the right direction and the engineers would make sure that we got there.