Things I've learned livin' Louisiana

[EbbTide]

THINGS I LEARNED LIVIN' IN Louisiana

1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle
of the road.

2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them
live in Louisiana .

3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000
; of them live in Louisiana .

4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll
bite cha.

5) Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7) "Jawl-P?" means, "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"

8) People actually grow and eat okra.

9) "Fixinto" is one word.

10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only
dinner and then there is supper...

11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you
start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea
with our sugar.

12) Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin'
'bout you.

13) The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did
you eat?"

14) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't
matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's
too dark to see...

2015) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.

16) You measure distance in minutes.
17) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

18) All the festivals across the state are named after
a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

19) You know what a "Dawg" is.

20) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own
car.

21) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony
Chachere's, Tabasco , and ketchup.

22) The local papers cover national and international
news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and
LSU football...

23) You think that the first day of deer season is a
national holiday.

24) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm."

25) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer,
still summer, and Christmas.

26) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as
"Goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World."
;
27) You describe the first cool snap (below 70
degrees) as good gumbo weather.

28) Fried catfish is the other white meat.

29) We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. . . if our mama
says we can drive, we can drive.

30) You understand these jokes and forward them
to your Louisiana friends and those who just wish they were
from Louisiana !!!!!

[kzoo pilot]

I just found this thread and had a good chuckle at most of it. However, having grown up in NE Michigan, I have to say that the first day of deer season is practically a holiday . . . in my hometown if November 15th (firearm season opener) fell M-F, the public schools and college were closed. If the 15th fell on a Sat/Sun, the next Monday had the schools closed for "safety day".

On the topic of LA, when I was down there checking out some job options, I happened to stop by a quickie mart/gas station/mini-casino/lunch counter and witnessed someone picking up some food for the road. He ordered some etouffe and the gal behind the counter asked if he wanted some bacon crumbled on that order . . . small, medium, or large side order. Sure enough, he wanted a medium order and she grabbed a HANDFUL (easily 1/2 lb precooked), crumbled over the etouffe and passed it across the counter. My arteries began to harden on the spot!

[Ashley]

How long have you been in La.? True, we are a very cultural-oriented state, and a lot of this surprises me still because I haven't engaged in conversation with any "backwudz" people HERE. Every state has poor people, who do fall into that category of being very 'country.'

Not everyone in La. is illiterate and use those phrases that would have proud, English professors cringing.
I can't really recall ever using Tabasco sauce in any of MY food--cayenne pepper gets it JUSSSSSSST right. *couple dumps full* lol
And, I only use Ketchup in normal/national dining circumstances. LOL Ex: No ketchup in my grits or etouffe'.

Humorous. My favs that I relate to are 8, 16, and 21.
^5!!!

[Ashley]

Bacon on Etouffe'? YUcK!
Where and what city was THAT in? I'm very curious.

[kzoo pilot]

Sulphur . . . can't remember the name of the gas station, etc., but it was just south of I-10 on the way out to the new LNG terminal.

[bosunj]

I learned from one crewboat 'captain' that hard core low budget porn goes with cornflakes.

[Captainmugsy]

Learned??? LOL , That place sucks the brain cells out of my head!!

[water]

If "butter" is on the grocery list, a Cajun will come back with a soy bean product.

If you fax a grocery list to a store with "butter" on it, you will get a soy bean product.

If you tell a Cajun that butter is a dairy product, they will look at you in disbelief.

[jonhintzman]

first night in venice walkin back from the bar after fair warning from the hot bartender that five guys were about to hand my ass to me. i stumbled off down the dyke makin my back to the docks, i could hear this rustling all around me i thought it was rat or bugs in the bushes. i can't see shit and i am piss drunk, a car pulls around the corner about a half mile behind me and as the headlights come up they reveal the truth of the danger i was in. goddamn road absolutley covered in water snakes and gators and i had just walked through 2 miles of em. this mini van pulls up with 2 of the ugliest whores i have ever seen askin me what the hell are you doin walkin out here baby, i jumped right in they gave me a ride home and i could here em bonin my mexican nieghbors all night long. welcome to the dirty south.

[KennyW1983]

If you are in Venice then you should say "Welcome to the end of the world." !!! And if you think that Venice is dirty you should go to Morgan City!!