Somalia Cruise Ship Package

[Capt Brian]

I found a Somalia cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the
Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The cost is a bit high but it seems well worth it. What I found encouraging
and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their own
high powered weapons along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can
rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on
board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from
4-8 days. All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting
to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated
with the package:

- $800.00 US/per day per person, double occupancy (4 day minimum).

- M-16 full automatic: rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 mm
armor-piercing ammo at $15.95

- Ak-47 rifle: no charge. Ammo at 100 rounds of com block ball ammo at
$14.95

- Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle: rental $55.00/day. Ammo at 25 rounds
50 cal armor piercing at $29.95.

- Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting scope
included).

- They even offer RPG's at $75 bucks and $200 for 3 standard loads.


- Mounted mini-gun available @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire.

- Free complimentary night vision equipment.

Meals are not included but seem reasonable. Coffee and snacks on the Lido
(top) deck from 7pm-6am

They offer group rates and corporate discounts, and even offer a partial
money back if not satisfied.

Text from the ad:

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by
pirates or we will refund half your money including gun rental charges and
any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you
will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within
12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted hijacking does not occur
we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots.

"We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the
entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets
are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract
attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package
before April 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of
your choice."

Here are a few testimonials:

"FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!"
---- Stan, Denver, CO USA

"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in
Africa again."
----Lars, Hamburg, Germany

"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and
my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0, PASSENGERS
32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English."
----- Ned, Salt Lake City, Utah USA

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't worry about
getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those
weapons they use and their crappy aim--reminds me of a drunken 'juicer' door
gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam."
----"Chopper" Dan, Toledo, Ohio USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them bleed
and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by
sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do."
---Zeke, Minnahaw Springs, Kentucky USA

[Ordinaryseaman]

This should be a reality show. I'll volunteer

I wonder if ammo prices here will ever come down to those prices again

[john]

I like their customer service:

Our guarantee

We guarantee adventure
We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back, including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted hijacking does not occur, we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention.

Here's a link to the website: SomaliCruises.com

[Ordinaryseaman]

Too bad it's fake.

Let's petition Marad to lease us the Hawaiian Superferry and we'll do this for real

In addition to passenger revenue- we can get a government contract. I'm sure we could charge less than XE (Blackwater) and still turn a profit.

All we need is a narrator and we'll sell our pilot to the Discovery Channel.

Too bad the "Crocodile Hunter" isn't around - he'd be perfect

" Crikey! We've got a pirate dinghy 2 points abaft our starboard beam- 10 meters out! I'm going to try to sneak up on these buggers with mah RPG..."