When I was 13 I often got beat-up by my older brother's friends . The worst of his friends was this guy named Rick. One summer day at the beach this jerk pinned me down to the burning hot sand, dropped his trunks and farted in my face. Everyone laughed except me, I was livid with anger! But every cloud has a silver lining and for me that lining was my first wet dream.... a revenge story. I dreamed that I stole my brother's friend Rick jon boat and got blown by his girlfriend who had big tits. Strange as it sounds that was the highlight of my prepubescent life and the moment when I first became addicted to women and the sea.
When I was 18, I got a girlfriend with big tits and a glaspar jon boat, but she was slow, boring and dumb as rocks. There was no passion in my life, so I decided I needed a fast boat and a passionate girl with zest for life.
When I was 21 I joined the navy and found myself at the helm of a fast frigate. Once the ship returned to port I found a passionate young girl who'd let me do anything in bed but I wasn't the only one allowed in her bed and the navy's coffee almost killed me. I decided I needed to slow down and find an honest girl and boat with some stability.
When I was 30, I found a very stable girl and a job as 3rd mate on a big Valdez tanker with a low CG. Both became totally predictable and life became so dull that I decided I needed some excitement.
When I was 35, I found an exciting girl and a job as Captain on a drillship, but I couldn't keep up with either. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything and always bothering me with the details. She did mad impetuous things, made me miserable as often as happy and talked my F'n ear off. Work was worse! Each day I woke to my cabin phone ringing and I'd sit listening to her yack away about shit I didn't understand or care 2 shits about. Then I'd put on coveralls, get some coffee and go to my office where the toolpusher or maintenance supervisor would be waiting to tell me about shit I didn't understand or care 2 shits about. Then the ship got moved to Nigeria so I decided to find a job and a girl with real ambition.
When I turned 40, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her and took a high $ pilot job. Both the job and married sex proved booring but life was ok for a couple years until the day when a deaf helmsman from China turned the ship I was piloting hard left after I had ordered hard right. The USCG started crawling up my ass the second I got the ship pulled away from that danm bridge pilling and my girl proved so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I must admit that life was looking rather shitty until just yesterday when I ran into my brother's friend Rick said that he was broke but happy because he still had that old jon boat and a new young girl with big tits who loves to suck C$#@ and fish. "What more does a man need he?" he said. But then his eyes lowered and he admitted that he'd give it all up for one chance to work on a "big ship".
I am older and wiser now and you'd think I'm too old to resurrect revenge schemes .... and too smart to try living a wet dream from puberty ago..... you'd think that I'd be mature enough to put the past behind to help out an old family friend.... but you'd be wrong! So please help me find him a job on "big ship" so I may retire on Rick's jon boat with his girl with big tits
So this guy farted on your face bare assed? That is how pink eye is contracted. True story.
That is an amazing story Sir. If its true then I can say you were given many amazing opportunities that you apparently just threw away.
Bloodyshitcakes, It was more like he farted in my general direction.
CurryAK, True!? Me a pilot?
I've been a member of this forum for over 5 years and I've never been called many things but NEVER a truth teller! I'm insulted. Seriously, my picture is of a girl blowing bubble gum and I can't even spell my own name right you idiot
albertpachino, I almost lost my morning coffee, you are one funny seaman and your opening post reminds me of one of Frankie's songs:
~ the road goes on forever and the party never ends ~
Wait, wait wait wait. The young girl with big tits sucks fish?
If he gets a job, let me know where to find his Jon boat......
Sweat-n-Grease (January 14th, 2013)